On days like this
by Wandervibes28
Summary: "On days like this we have a choice to make. Whether to sit and feel worthless or to use this feeling and power through"...What happens when the team sees how Tony really feels?...What happens when Tony realises that?...Team fic...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

Hey guys,

Another story, this one is more of a Tony whump rather than centric because it features all of the avengers rather than him. And this is kind of my first try on these type of stories so…excuse me for mistakes. I decided to write the rather than watch T.V, so can you guys review as a 'Thank you'?

Got many requests for this and took a lot of time to write, so I hope you guys like it. Please do review! :)

 **DISCLAIMER:** I will never be able to own the avengers, unless I am able to buy Disney XD

Wandervibes28

* * *

 _Prologue_

Sometimes people don't bother to look within. To see how much a person actually hurts. And sometimes people misjudge others. Think that the sarcastic idiot who always smiles is always happy. But it's not like that. It never is…

* * *

 ** _NOTICE: This poem is written by Wandervibes28, but in this story, it is written by Tony Stark. Therefore, all credits go to the respective owner…Which is Wandervibes28, which is me XD._**

' **I know how you feel. On days like this, your whole existence feels worthless. It feels like the things you made with your time are thrown in the bin. It feels like everything you do is wrong and out of place. All the world hates you suddenly and time slows down. And you just want to escape, run away from this nightmare, but you can't. Because it's real and its happening. And you are alive and the center of it all.**

 **You feel like you're not yourself anymore, that you're the monster instead. And you start to make yourself the enemy. You blame yourself for the pain, even though the fault isn't yours. And suddenly your life is a downwards spiral into oblivion. You feel useless and you hate yourself, and the whole world hates you too. But you believe it now and don't bother to fight it.'**

 **PAUSE FOR STORY EFFECTS XD CAUSE I'M MEAN**

 **'I know how you feel, because I feel like this everyday. When I look at myself in the mirror, all I see is a huge disappointment. Like how many times my father, mother, and friends told me. Every time I create something, all I see is a failure. A broken idea, by a broken man. On days like this, I lose the ability to answer, to be myself. I lose myself to the darkness that tries to engulf me. I lose my humanity, and turn into a work machine. On days like this, I lose who I am and become something else. But….**

 **On days like this, we have a choice to make. Whether to sit and feel worthless or to use this feeling to power through. Whether we fall in the race and quit, or whether we get up. We get the chance to regain ourselves with pride. And no matter how many time's I'm called a disappointment or how many times I fail. No matter how many days like this come…I will ALWAYS choose to get up…and I hope you do too.'**

 **\- POEM BY: WANDERVIBES28**

* * *

 **A/N**

So how did you like it so far?

I know, I stopped with only a poem. And yes, I know there will be people out there ready to murder me right now but, don't worry, I have things planned out :)

All I have left to say is: Please review and enjoy! XD

P.S Got the poem idea from poems on tumblr. They were pretty deep, so I thought to link them to Tony, cause he's pretty deep too. #Makingrelationsbelike XD

Wandervibes28


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

Hey guys,

Since you guys had waited for SO long. You're welcome.

THREE UPDATES IN A DAY! *wipes brow* God, that was some intense work.

Anyways, in this chapter, I've started to show the avengers, because they gotta come in some time or the other.

Without any further ado, here's Chapter 2 of 'On days like this'. Please review! XD

Wandervibes28

* * *

"Hey Tony?! Tony?! Bro, where are you?" Clint screamed out loudly as he looked for his best friend. He hadn't come out since last night, and the only place to check was the lab. Because that was his "Cave" anyways.

He exited the elevator and paced into the hallway.

Once he reached the glass door, he entered his code and the door opened with a "swish". "Tony, where were you last nigh-" Clint started, until realising that the lab was empty.

His eyebrows fused as he noticed the empty desk chair. He looked around the lab for any note telling him where he had gone but it was too messy. Pieces of the armor, screwdrivers, blueprints, pages, and things he didn't know were scattered on the floor.

Now he started to panic.

 _Was his lab this messy? Or was he abducted? Was he ok? Did he get hurt? Who took him?_ His mind raced as he started to search quickly for any note, any evidence that he could use.

He had just reached the island when he saw a note with a winking smiley face. He quickly picked up the note and read the words scribbled out. ' ** _Sorry guys, had to leave for a Stark Industries meeting. Kind of unexpected. Will be back by tomorrow. Don't miss me too much ;)_** '.

Clint released a breath he hadn't realised that he hadn't been holding and smiled while shaking his head. "That idiot, I'm gonna murder him" he mumbled to himself with a smirk and started to walk out.

He realised that he had gone soft on the man, along with frantic, panic-ful, and scared for him. He chuckled at himself, he was turning into a mother hen.

Just before he reached out, he noticed an item on the desk, sticking out from under a tablet.

A book?

Since when did the great Tony Stark use a book to write stuff down? He was the freaking poster boy of technology.

Not even kidding. Clint had checked up Tony's wikipedia page one day and there were actual posters of him on sale on almost every online shop. Including amazon, ebay, and god knows how many others.

He chuckled at the thought and shuffled over the desk and picked it up.

The book was a leather hard bound. And from the way it shone under the lights, Clint knew it was costly. He ran his finger down the spine, letting the book slide under his touch. It was hard yet soft to the touch.

Then, he turned the book around, opened the first page, to see nothing different. Everything was the same. His eyebrows flung up this time as he opened the book to see nothing. Just pages of white as he flipped through the rest of the book quickly.

He smiled, _Of course Clint, why would the 'Techboy' write something?_ and thought to himself.

He chuckled and started to close the book, but that's when he saw something written. He stopped to see a few blue words standing out from the crisp white colour.

He then held the page and opened it, to find a small writing piece, on the second last page of a book.

He didn't even bother to read it, he just opened his mouth in awe and started to run to the team, closing the book while he ran. Tony never wrote anything, NEVER.

 **N to the E to the V to the E to the R.**

So why did he write something now?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**

 **Hey guys,**

Third chapter! I know that this story may ruin a few people's lives but I'm evil like that. So don't judge ;).

Decided to kick out Thor from this one cause I'm not a huge Thor fan.

ANYWAYS, Not gonna waste more time, because you've waited long enough. Here you go and reviews please! :)

Wandervibes28

 **P.S** Thanks to a reviewer, I was able to realise that I had forgot to explain a VERY crucial fact. **THE BOLD WRITING IS WHAT TONY HAD WRITTEN IN THE BOOK**. Please keep that in mind while reading the story. Anyways, go on! **READ XD**

* * *

"Natatsha! Nat! You gotta see this!" Clint said as he approached the living room with a sprint. He ran towards Natasha, who was sitting on the couch with a drink in her hand, and sat down next to her. "What happened this time, Barton? And what's that in your hand?" Natasha said uninterested.

"Nothing. I was looking around for Stark and I found this! So I opened it and found something written inside it. I didn't read it though. Because we gotta read it together! Like when does Tony even write?!" Barton rambled, excited.

That was until he realized that Bruce and Steve were staring at him in confusion.

Steve was on the other couch, leaning forward towards the center table, and drinking a beer, while Bruce was on the floor mat, reading a newspaper with his glasses on his nose.

Clint just cleared his throat loudly before saying calmly, "Let's read it. Seriously. It's gonna be funny. I guess" while shrugging. The whole team just sighed and went back to their business.

"I don't think we should do that Clint, maybe he doesn't want us to see it" Natasha said as she went back to checking her phone. "But what if there's juicy gossip? You love those things" Clint said as he tried to persuade Natasha. Natasha just rolled her eyes and snatched the book, flipping to the page where something was written. Might as well get this over with. It would be some random stuff written down, right?

Then, she could make the Bird-Brain shut his face up.

She flipped through the pages to the one with the ink, and started to read the first few lines.

Bruce and Steve just glanced at her, half paying attention, half not.

That was until Natasha's eyes went wide and stared at the book like something horrendous was written inside.

Steve and Bruce immediately threw their distractions aside and bent forward, confused. Barton did the same when he noticed how Natasha pushed the book on her lap, looked down for a second before saying, "We need to read this. Now".

LINEBREAK

Clint, Steve, and Bruce were worried for what was coming now. Considering the fact that one of the world's most deadliest assassin was in shock and confusion. They stared at her, who stared at the book eagerly.

"What the heck happened? Never mind…start" Barton said firmly, ready for whatever was coming.

Or so he thought.

" ** _I know how you feel_..** "

Natasha started, causing the three men to stare at her in confusion. Feel _what?_

" ** _On days like this, your whole existence feels worthless…_** ".

"Wait…stop for a second. This is by Tony?" Bruce asked casually, yet enquiring with complete and utter curiosity.

Natasha just nodded and continued, " ** _It feels like the things you made with your time are thrown in the bin_** _"._

 _"_ Thrown in the bin?" Steve mutters to himself as he tries to think why Tony would write about this.

" ** _It feels like everything you do is wrong and out of place_** " she continues, her eyes focused on the script in front of her.

"Is there a title? Anything?" Barton asks, concerned yet utterly confused. "Yup. Its 'On days like this'. Only that much is written, but I guess its about his bad days, judging from the lines" she says.

" ** _All the world hates you suddenly and time slows down"_** Widow exclaims.

 _Hates him? Why would anyone hate Tony Stark? The rich, smart, sarcastic, stupidly daring billionaire?_ They all thought, but waited. Because they knew the answer was lurking somewhere near. And their curiosity could wait for a bit longer.

" ** _And you want to escape, run away from this nightmare. But you can't, because its real and its happening. And you are alive and the centre of it all…_** _"_ She continues with a look of grief and confusion on her face.

"But why….what? Why would Tony say this?" Steve asks to no-one in general, and nobody replies. They just sit in silence, trying to fix the pieces together. _Why would 'their' idiot talk about this? Especially the one who acts like he's super drunk and always happy?_ Steve thought to himself.

He didn't know that he was wrong. He had always been wrong…

* * *

 **A/N**

I'm so evil XD.

So I'm not going to say anything cause that would be a spoiler but I will say something else.

 **I HAVE AN OPEN ROLEPLAY SPOT FOR TONY, STEVE, CLINT, NATASHA, THOR, AND BRUCE!** What more do I have to say?

Go and check out my forum and apply in the canon sheet ASAP to get those roles!

Wandervibes28


	4. Alert Chapter (VERY IMP)

**A/N**

 **Hey guys,**

Ok, so I've decided that I'm going to go on hiatus for another week or so, and I will not check my fanfiction account for that entire time.

And I will see whether my readers **actually** appreciate my work and the time that I am putting into it.

 **How?** you ask?

Well, I'm not going to post another chapter, and only once I return, I will decide whether I want to post my stories here or on AO3 or etc.

Because I am getting at least 500+ views every day, but only 1 review in a week or so.

And that's kinda de-motivating because I put quite a lot of time in writing my stories, to get absolutely no feedback on how to make my stories better.

So anyways, _it's up to you guys_.

 **See you guys in a week :)**

Wandervibes28

 **P.S** Don't worry, the hiatus is not due to reviews, it is due to school reasons, stayback's etc. I love my readers, and it's never because of you guys XD

* * *

 _Natasha, Bruce and Thor had all been called in for missions, family reunion's and various other reasons, so that left Clint, Tony and Steve to 'enjoy' each other's presence._

 _-_ **LINE FROM UPCOMING STORY (IF IT IS POSTED HERE ON FANFICTION)**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N**

 **Hey guys,**

Ok guys, I'm going straight for the truth.

I **LIED!**

I'm not leaving fanfiction. It was just a prank XD.

Sorry!

Anyways, to make up for it, here's another chapter.

Please don't kill me :)

Wandervibes28

* * *

" ** _You feel like you're not yourself anymore, that you're the monster instead. And you start to make yourself the enemy…_** "" Natasha continues, her voice slightly breaking at the relations she had with him, but she pushed it back into her emotionless tone.

She was able to understand, able to relate to the anger and pain and frustration. She had felt like that once too in her life. Kind of still did, but she didn't understand why _he_ felt like that. She was the one who had killed people for no reason, lied, betrayed, and just been merciless.

He, on the other hand, was VERY merciful.

Bruce looked shocked, still in confusion. While Steve looked sad, as he tried to put all the pieces together. Clint was just concerned, shocked, and curious to find out more. But most of all, eager to get this done and to find some light in the complete darkness they were in right now.

So she continues instead, " ** _You blame yourself for the pain, even though the fault isn't yours. And suddenly your life is a downwards spiral into oblivion._** "

"What pain? What..what is he talking about?" Clint asks, his voice angry with guilt and his confusion blocking his mind.

"I..I don't think he's talking about physical pain, Clint…I-I think he's talking about….everyone I guess….like, he's a billionaire, surely a few idiots would have said or done something to him…" Bruce speaks up, analyzing the text given, like in any normal exam.

And he was pretty sure the man was referencing to the guilt, the innocent killings, the use of his weapons on innocents without his approval, betrayal of his friends, and most of all, the arc reactor.

But he decided to keep his mouth shut about all of that. It was better that they didn't remember any of that right now.

" ** _You feel useless and you hate yourself, and the whole world hates you too. But you believe it now and don't bother to fight it_** " Natasha says, her voice completely straight but filled by now in confusion, guilt, and just anger.

But none of them care, because they're all so stuck into guilt. They're all baffled by how Tony actually thought, how he actually found himself. Steve and Bruce had their heads hung in shame now, and were staring the ground with utter sympathy.

Clint was just leaning back into the couch, gazing somewhere in the room but in deep thought. None of them asked what.

So Natasha didn't bother to wait and continued.

* * *

 **A/N**

So, how did you like it? LEMME KNOW!

And ofc, join my roleplay too!

Wandervibes28


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N**

 **Hey guys,**

I am SO sorry that I didn't post. I had relatives over, nothing else is needed to be said.

And thank you, guys! I have been getting a WHOLE LOT of DM's asking me to continue and etc, and I really appreciate the encouragement :)

Anyways, here is another chapter of 'On days like this'. Phew! We're getting towards the end of the story now.

And to all of my readers who want Tony to be angry at the team for whatsoever reason, I want to say that there will be another story in which he will be.

He **WILL** be. And he will be _**REALLY ANGRY**_. I actually can't wait to upload the chapter, you guys are bound to a lot of sarcastic comments in that story XD

Oh god, I'm straying off topic again. My specialty.

So, enjoy reading and PLEASE review!

Wandervibes28

 **P.S** I'm a bit surprised that nobody wanted to join the **roleplay** when **TONY's** position is open right now. Hmm...maybe I should delete it...

* * *

 **" _I know how you feel, because I feel like this everyday"_** She said slowly.

That just angered Clint even more as his face now contorted in fury. "No no no no no, you better not tell me that he hates himself every day like an idiot and then acts like a narcissistic idiot on op of that. I swear to god that…that…" Clint started in anger, trying to find a word for him.

"Don't. Don't say anything more about him. He already hates himself, so every word we say would add to it" Steve stated, his gaze fixed on Clint, but his voice firm and shaky at the ends.

Clint just glanced at Steve, understood the message from the ultimate mother hen, and nodded before turning back to Natasha.

" ** _When I look at myself in the mirror, all I see is a huge disappointment. Like how many times my father, mother, and friends told me_ " **Natasha said.

This felt like a stab in the back, to all of them. And they all stopped doing anything. They just stopped, like deer's caught in headlights and thought.

 _Tony thought that they were disappointed in him. IN HIM. Out of_ ** _ALL_** _the people, he chose himself. The one who was always working, always understanding, always kind. And the fact that what we said hurt him. What we did, made him hate himself. That just makes everything worse._ They all thought, in their own different ways.

Clint's way of thinking normally had more swearing in it.

But nevertheless, they had all hurt their friend, one of their best friends.

Who gave them everything, and they had hurt him. **They** had hurt him. The one who was always open to them, the one who had learned to trusted them, actually was hurt by them.

Natasha was stuck, stuck in her thoughts. But then pulled herself back into composure as she cleared her throat and took a deep breath.

 _"_ ** _Every time I create something, all I see is a failure. A broken idea, by a broken man"_** She said out.

Now Steve had 'had enough', he just sighed loudly and threw his head into his hands. Tony Stark thought himself to be broken, because of idiots like them. What else could they have done if this writing wasn't there now with them?

They would have torn him apart, and never realized it.

Bruce just didn't know what to do, he had thought his friend as a cocky idiot. But he was wrong, and Clint was in the same state. So they all sat quietly, letting silence engulf them again.

That's when Clint chuckled, and the other three stared at him in confusion. "He thinks he's broken. **He,** out of all the people, thinks that. Imagine what would've happened if we wouldn't have seen this" he continued, half chuckling sadly in the way.

Steve and Bruce just glanced at him for a second before throwing their heads down in shame again. They silently agreed with his thought.

" ** _On days like this, I lose the ability to answer, to be myself. I lose myself to the darkness that tries to engulf me_ " **Natasha says.

None of them answer, just wait for the spider to continue, who eventually can't handle the silence and does.

 **" _I lose my humanity, and turn into a work machine. On days like this, I lose who I am and become something else_ " **She says and stops, waiting for a form of response.

At first, there's nothing. Nobody moves, but then Steve lifts his head and glances at Natasha in a face full of pain before saying, "It's all our fault. We have to fix this. We don't have a choice". Natasha simply nods, her eyebrows firm in place before continuing.

" ** _But…_** " She reads out, her voice in confusion too now.

Steve, Bruce, and Clint are on the edges of their seat now, all hoping that something good comes. Letting them know their friend is fine.

That he can still live with himself, and more importantly, them.


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N**

 **Hey guys,**

YAY! We are **OFFICIALLY** on the **LAST CHAPTER OF 'ON DAYS LIKE THIS'!**

Wow, this is my longest story, SO FAR, and thanks to everyone who reviewed and took the time to read my stories :D

So here's the chapter, and I know that you guys wanted a bit of angry Tony, but DON'T WORRY.

.

.

.

.

I have a **DEDICATED ANGRY-TONY STORY XD...**

And quite a few others. So go ahead and read and review :)

And always remember to check out my community and forum or entering the role-play!

Wandervibes28

* * *

 ** _"On days like this, we have a choice to make. Whether to sit and feel worthless or to use this feeling to power through"_** She said.

"That's true. That idiot never did show any of this. He bottled all of that up, and to be honest, that can take a toll on the mental health. But he managed to not hurt our feelings. I…I think that's why he did that…" Bruce muttered, his voice not showing any signs of happiness.

Steve just sat and gazed into space before saying, "He did use the feeling to power through. No wonder he could stay awake for days. He must have…thought that he….he wasn't worth it. And I bet that he was trying to prove it".

The three nodded in agreement.

"But he should know, he is worth it. At least to us" Clint exclaimed loudly. "But he doesn't Clint. That's the point. We have to show it because we hadn't before. And we had actually pushed him down. So we have to show him." Bruce said.

Then he glanced at Natasha, who continued.

 **" _Whether we fall in the race and quit, or whether we get up. We get the chance to regain ourselves with pride"_** She said slowly, and nobody uttered a word.

Then she smiled. And the three of them stared at her. Why did she smile when everything was so hopeless?

 ** _"And no matter how many time's I'm called a disappointment or how many times I fail. No matter how many days like this come…I will ALWAYS choose to get up…and I hope you do too"_** she finished, without stopping. Then smirked and closed the book and put it on the center table.

LINEBREAK

"At least Shell head won't give up. That's a good thing to know" Clint said, a small smile slipping through his face.

That's when Steve stood up and said, "But remember. He said that he was the monster….And that was **because of us** , I'm sure. So we have to stop hurting him. We have to stop saying things that can. And…..we have to be nice, even though how hard that sounds. Because he's **_our_** friend and family, so we have to take care of him. Otherwise, he would go and blast himself up in the lab by working too hard".

The end got them all chuckling but then all of them nodded with ferocity.

Then they all smiled and sat down, continuing with their work, halfway sill in thought. That's when the elevator doors swung open, and Natasha, being the assassin that she was, quickly snuck the book under the couch instinctually.

" **Hey!** You guys miss me?!" Stark asked sarcastically as he walked in with his jeans and white shirt and a gray blazer over it, sunglasses on his eyes and a flashy grin. "Sure di-" Clint started but corrected himself, "Sure did".

That's when Stark stopped in his tracks, causing all of them to freeze.

He narrowed his eyesight as if checking for any twitch or flinch, and all of them stared back like deer in headlights, before he chuckled and said, " **Barton** , its ok. You don't have to say that just cause **you** broke the remote. It's cheap, I can get another one" and started to walk to the main hallway.

Then, they all looked at Clint, who was holding a remote which was broken to bits.

"Wha…?" Clint asked confused, causing the whole team to laugh.

"Well, umm, if you guys need me, I'll be in the lab. **I'm** not jobless like you idiots" he says, trying to maintain his egotistical mask, but a small tiny bit of himself slips through.

Just as he's about to leave the room, Steve asks, "Hey Tony! You just came back, so why don't we **watch** a movie? It's movie night anyways. And…And **I** can order pizza!", trying to lighten the very awkward mood.

Stark turns around, first frowning but then a huge smile erupts on his face, "Hmmm…How much work do I have remaining? Well, I guess it can wait… **Sure**! But I call dibs on the couch!" Tony says quickly before he starts to sprint to the couch.

Clint and Bruce try to get up and sprint too, Steve already up and running. But Tony jumps on it, bang in the middle, first, Steve on the right, leaving space only for Bruce to fit in the left side.

" **UGHHH** " Barton exclaims before catching an armchair and choosing the movie.

The movie turned out to be 'Lord of the Rings' and there were very loud conversations in the middle.

Steve, true to his word, had ordered pizza and had even gotten up to make popcorn on top of that. Which ended up on Clint's head in a food fight between the 'Bird-Brain' and the 'Shell-head'

Steve didn't do anything else except glare at them, a slight smile curling on his face. Tony noticed it, while Clint didn't, and it was moments like those when Tony asked himself how Clint could be hitting the bulls-eye every time and missing such a huge smile in the glare.

In the end, the book lay forgotten and each team member bid goodnight and went to their rooms.

Stark was just about to leave, the hallway empty, when he saw something under the couch.

 _That's weird. Did one of those idiots leave something? Ughh I'll kill Thor if it's the Mjolnir,_ he thought to himself. He stopped in his tracks, bent down and pulled it out.

He gasped when he saw the item.

It was his book, the one he had written in.

At first, his eyebrows flung up in shock. That meant they must have read it because he had left it in the lab. It can't fly by itself. He would love it, if it did actually.

But that meant his secret was exposed.

That they knew how he was thinking and knew how they hurt him. Now, they knew that he was weak and that he was fragile and could be broken in a 'snap'.

But then he thought, that maybe it was a good thing. Maybe they would know how he felt now. **Maybe** they would protect him and hurt him less.

 **Maybe** that's why Clint had corrected his sarcastic comment.

 **Maybe** that's why Steve had asked for the movie night when he had started to go down to his lab.

 **Maybe** that was why Steve didn't glare muderuous-ly at him when he there the popcorn on Clint.

 **Maybe** they would actually be more nice towards him.

But those were just a case of ' **Maybe** 's.

So instead of running away to Malibu and hiding, he smiled at himself and walked down to the lab to work once more.

And **maybe** , just **maybe** , to write in it again…

 **XXX**

* * *

 **A/N** Reviews are the best gift any reader can receive...Can you give me one too? XD

Reviews are the best gift any reader can receive...Can you give me one too? XD

Wandervibes28


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